Bikini Body

If you are on facebook at all, you've probably seen at least one of those body positive image memes. Numerous blogs were developed for it, for one size or another, mostly for all shapes and sizes. Woman of all shapes and sizes proudly showing their swimwear clad bodies with a nofucksgiven attitude. And that is wonderful, really is. I will never grace the cover of a magazine (unless its for notorious reasons, like yarn bombing the white house), I will never be sought after for photo shoots. I won't even become an instagram "hottie", I take a lot of yarn photos. The message is not one to discourage, love yourself is a great thing to do. But it's easier adding text over an inspirational image than it is to do in practice.

Why bring this up? Because my parents are treating my daughter to a day at a water park. She is old enough (and tall enough, she won't STOP GROWING!) to go on the rides herself, but it really isn't all that fun to do it alone. So, Mommy is on the chopping block. Grandma doesn't even own a bathing suit. Now I know I won't be the only mom in a suit, I know I won't be the only one with stretch marks, a case of the jiggles that shames Jell-o, and a sense of agony every time the suit creeps up. I know I won't be the heaviest lady there, and I know I won't be the skinniest. I'll be just a face in the crowd, one of many to the workers and a background character to the other attendees. I have a ready finger and a smart mouth to anyone who decides to bash me for daring to don spandex. None of that bothers me. What bothers me is that I hate how I look, especially exposing that much of myself in the highly hated areas. I own two swimsuits and in the two, three years I've owned them, I've never worn them. One has a skirt, why I don't know. We know what is under them, and once they are wet and stuck to your legs they don't hide anything. Both are floral, and not a small pattern either. Why do companies think we want flashy bright designs? I want a PLAIN option! I'm not saying everyone wants a plain suit, some people prefer the bright ones but I am not one of them. I know I need to set an example for my daughter, to show that it doesn't matter what you look like. To give her a realistic view of what some people do look like. But that doesn't make me any more comfortable. Seeing her smile will be worth every painful minute, though.

So what else? Knitting updates!

Still plugging away at the Vlad shawl, I like it but it's become an unwieldy number of stitches and it takes forever to get to the end of a row. I'm determined to finish it this week. I was going to be house/dog sitting for a week and had a bag full of projects packed (projects before clothes, naked but I'll have shawls!). Now that I'm not needed for that, I can minimize my projects. That one is staying, I really want to finish it and block it, but what do I want to thin out? Scarves? More shawls? UFO's that are mocking me? Probably the scarves, I like the pattern but it requires a cable needle (for me, I know some of you can do it without one) and that isn't travel friendly. My ren fest knitting is at a pause, I finished the flail, but my axe blade is being a pain. Yarn is in timeout.

                                           

swingable to boot!

I'm also working on the Elder Tree Shawl, an adjustable version of the Lonely Tree Shawl, both are free downloads by Sylvia Bo Bilvia. I'm using acrylic (gasp!) for both and hoping for a decent outcome. I still have to finish sewing up the wizard robe, I finished Hubs tunic thingie. The trousers I passed on, the fabric shredded too easily and I didn't want a wardrobe malfunction in the middle of the festival. I keep coming to terms with the fact that I am a terrible sewing person. I can do an ok pouch, however. Have I mentioned that I haven't even touched my costume yet? Because I'm fighting with costumes for the 6'+ crowd which means spreading fabric on the PORCH because I don't have enough space unless I move furniture? I still have about 3 weeks, well two with one of those being spend at my parents. Not house sitting, but house working. The joys of being an able bodied and nearby offspring of DIY-ers.

My exercise plan I posted before? Trying to get back into it. I caught a very nasty plague from the hellspawn, talking gross lung batter. Still coughing up ick thanks to my allergy ridden sinuses feeding my lungs. So I had to give up for a while, bending at all induced a dizzying coughing fit let alone sit ups. I still don't have full breathing capacity back, it was that bad, so I'm keeping it at a day 1, 2, 3 level for a while instead of advancing. But I keep getting distracted by shiny new books, think I could work out and read?

The Deadline Cometh

There is an awesome renaissance festival downstate, try to visit every year with a group of friends. I dress up every time, great excuse to wear a corset. Plus, the actors will interact with you if you do dress up, they treat you as you are costumed. My brother and his then wife dressed as peasants and were ordered around, they had a blast. This year, my husband is getting in on the act, he's always been willing but not able to dress up. Friends of ours are also going, and I'm providing some costume help with them. Know those DIY instructions that have all this stuff on hand for amazing projects? I'm not one of them. By sheer luck, most of my costume came from the thrift store or stuff from old costumes (except the corset, buying a new one. Moresca, highly recommend them for product and friendly staff). There will be photos, I'll share my stupid easy stuff with you. Right now I'm making a spell book from a hardcover library discard. A robe and trousers from a king sized flat sheet and pillowcases. Actual stuff you might have on hand or can get cheap at a thrift store. The sheets I had purchased at the Christmas Tree Shop for $20, and that was the most expensive thing so far. They sucked on my bed, that satin backing meant every time I got up, I slid. But there is no reason you couldnt grab a sheet for near nothing at a garage sale and dye it (Rit dye, laundry aisle at your grocery store). Pouches? Fabric scraps from the thrift stores and the remnant bin at Walmart and JoAnns. Totally doable stuffs, folks. I'm also knitting weapons, they will end up being used at later gaming sessions by the DM. Free patterns for a flail (she has it listed as a morning star), an axe, and a sword can be found on ravelry. I really should be sewing and not blogging, but the size of this robe means I need a lot of space to lay it out and its a bit windy outside. I refuse to chase a sleeve down the street. Any suggestions on what to use for pouch drawstrings besides satin cords? Something sturdy, as they will likely be hanging off a belt. At this point, I'm eyeing shoe laces (new, not used, nobody wants the smell of dirty feet on them). No, our costumes won't be strictly authentic for you sticklers. But they will be breathable and, for my sun allergy ridden husband, comfortable. 

Working Out: If I make this public, I might follow through

If you've ever been on Pinterest, you've seen those fitness boards (and the bot accounts that post only that) full of "3 Weeks To Abs!" or "Arms For Summer". I saved a few of those because they seemed simple, I could fit them into my unorganized days. I still haven't. Wake up call came today, I had to hold my legs up in the air for all of 30 seconds and I couldn't do it. I literally could not hold my legs up in the air without support. I was so disgusted with myself that I forced myself to actually LOOK at what I have saved and to try them. Last day of school, so I don't have too much of a timeline to worry about now and can do it at any time. This was really simple (or so I thought). I don't have the link that corresponds, just the photo. Check out day 1:

"5 crunches?", I scoffed "Who can't do that?" Me. Humbly, huffing puffing me. I hate how far I've slipped, I've never been in the best of shape, but I am kind of active. I walk on a near daily basis. I volunteer once a week where I'm hauling around bags of clothes (If you think they aren't heavy, try carrying lawn bags and totes full of them and throwing them. Then we'll talk). My diet isn't the greatest, but I eat a lot of fresh fruits and try to get veggies in (Farmers Market is more cost effective and the stuff lasts). And here I am. I have a damn gym membership and have I used it in the past 3 months? No. Lately I see myself in the mirror and want to cry. Depression is rearing its ugly head and I'm not even sure I'm fighting it. Add summer temps on top and it's a while pile of hell (my legs + shorts gets the same results as dividing by zero). I want to do things with my daughter this year. I want to go to the pool with her (which means a swimsuit, brace yourselves spandex industry). I want to take walks, visit the park, do THINGS. But if I can't even bring myself to look at myself in the mirror, can't give a good hard look at just how much space my pants take up on the clothes line, can't bend over and paint my toenails without not breathing (part of that is a boob problem, ladies you have my back right?), how am I supposed to do that? She doesn't care, kids don't see their parents as fat. They just see Mom (or Dad, I'll be fair here) and that is that. But for her sake, I care. I don't want to hear one of her friends say "Omg, is that your mom?" unless they are talking about whatever weird hair colour I'm sporting. For her sake, I want to be able to run with her after a ball and actually make her push herself. I want to be able to wear clothes that she can raid my closet for. I want to look at myself and be happy. I want to be able to accept the compliments that my husband gives me. This will never be a fitness blog, or even a follow-my-journey thing. I knit. I read. I doodle. I marathon Netflix. I'm a couch potato at heart, otherwise I doubt I'd have ever started a blog. But that doesn't mean I have to look like this while I watch an entire season of a show in a week. Or read a 7 book series in a week. I can be happy with myself and be myself and that is my goal. I want to smile when I see myself in photos. And I want my daughter to smile with me.

I Don't Want To Knit Anymore

Wait, what?

A knitting blog that doesn't want to knit anymore

Say it ain't so!

Calm yourselves, it isn't permanent. I haven't gone COMPLETELY nuts. But tis true. I'm working on a project and it is making me not want to knit anything anymore. Not even a new project is brightening me up (and I just perused the new Knitty patterns). Why? Because I know that the massive PROJECT OF DOOM will be sitting there, in my chair, mocking me.

"OOOOOH you can start a new pair of socks, but you can't finish me? Simple two row pattern in the round, and in light worsted no less, but you can't be bothered"

Yes, my UFO's talk, don't yours?

I'm plugging away at the Vortex Shawl, trying my hardest to use up this less than wonderful yarn I *had* to have. It's Red Heart (yes, yes, acrylic you yarn snobs. Money goes to growing offspring, I'll splurge when I take over her bedroom as a walk in yarn closet) Boutique Unforgettable. Looks AMAZING in the skein. Working with it? Meh. The sheen is gone, the colours all wind up muted, and it fuzzes worse than my mothers dogs. Seriously, I have a continual donut of fuzz while I'm working on this (anyone who has ever used a sheddy yarn knows what I mean). I'm almost at the end of ball #2, one more left. And I'm trying to talk myself into going until I can'ts go no mores. Because I am seriously tempted to just do my garter and bind off. But then I will be stuck with about 200yd of the stuff. I tried at least two other projects with that stuff, a lovely pattern by Caitlin ffrench (check her out on Rav, you won't be sorry) and the ball band shawl. Both were a big ol NOPE. This one I frogged 3 times before I finally got it to work.

What I did get to work was another shawl. Yarn that I couldn't for the life of me figure out what to do with it. Bernat Mosaic, three balls. I made Lala's Simple Shawl (my go to lately). I shortened it a bit to make sure I had enough for the bind off (and I could have gone another row or three, of course), but it turned out perfectly for my shoulders. I'm wearing it now seeing as it's 68 in this house (without a fan or an a/c unit, woot!). I even have a picture, as arty as I get without an instagram filter

the hand sculpture thing to your left was made by my niece

So to recap no, I'm not going to stop knitting. I become even more intolerable and antsy if I don't have SOMETHING for my hands to do (and bugger off, you skeevy pervs, no one wants to hear from the peanut gallery). And I really can't convince Hubs to get me some handspun at the Ren Fest if it's just going to sit there. I will totally post about our trip and costumes!

Theme of the Day

Mother's Day has passed, Father's Day is rearing its head, and I can't keep track of all the others. I dread these holidays. Not because I don't like the idea, celebrating the most understated and underpaid job? All for it. But I hate gifting for this. My parents are the worst when it comes to getting them gifts. By their age, they have everything they could want that would fit in my budget (sorry, not getting you a new four wheeler) and they can purchase the little things that I could choose. The typical things to get mom (flowers, chocolates) aren't her cup of tea. My father isn't a grill master and has retired and doesn't need another tie. So I'm forever stumped as to what to do. This year, I did simple and crafty for my mother (I intend to make it up to her later), but there isn't anything I can make my father. They appreciate even the little things I get them, at least the effort behind them, but I never really get THE thing. The wow factor gift. I'd be happy to do it just once. I'm running through a mental list of what their likes are and anything even remotely connected and all I get is "already done..won't use it...has 10 already". My husband is easy. Anything nerdy, geeky, Star Wars, or chocolate. I don't even break a sweat over stocking stuffers for him. Even his parents are easy to shop for. It's mine that throw me into fits. Apparently that was passed onto me, I'm horrid to buy for according to Hubs. At least Bug won't problems with both of us. Do any of you have that impossible to gift person on your Day's list? Any creative ideas knocking around? Share, please. We can brainstorm together!

SpringVoxBox Review Time

Before I start, these products were received free from Influenster for review. Interested? Free to signup at influenster.com  The reviews are all personal opinion, however. If I didn't like it, I would certainly say so.

In my VoxBox, I was sent the following:

• Rimmel London Scandaleyes Retro Glam Mascara
• Kiss Everlasting French Nails
• Peach Pie Car Freshener from the Labor Day Movie
• Playtex Sport Fresh Balance
• NIVEA Skin Firming Hydration Lotion

Lets start, shall we? Mascara is up first. Normally, I don't splurge on my makeup. Dollar store and e.l.f. brand are my typical go to. So I was kind of excited to try something new. I wasn't disappointed, it went on well and lasted. I have fairly sensitive eyes to liner and mascara, but this didn't bother me.

Next, the nails. I was going to try and attach them. Package stated more of the popular sizes, but not for my weird fingers. Even if I filed them, it wouldn't have been enough to fit all of my nails. So I could not review these.

Now the car freshener. It smells like gummy peach rings as opposed to a peach pie, but that's to be expected. Still, it's cute. Shaped like a wee pie.

No, not reviewing tampons. You are welcome, everyone. I'll merely state that it was nice to get a decent amount to test (16 count box) instead of the typical 3-5. 

Lotion time! I haven't used this for two weeks as is suggested for the earliest firming results, but I have tried it a few times. The fragrance is strong, not a pleasing odor. My nose is plugged due to allergies and I can still smell it. Even with a small amount, it leaves a greasy feel. I've had better luck with moisturizing with other brands. I will keep using to see if there are any results otherwise, but it isn't something I'd purchase myself.

So, there is my plug. My sellout post :) Don't worry, I'm working on patterns and projects and I'll get back to the yarn soon.

SQUIRREL!

I'm going stir crazy when it comes to my knitting. I have such grand aspirations only to be grounded by the fact that I owe people knits. And of course, I taunt myself with ravelry. But these? These might not wait. If you are a member, then you know that you have a page of suggested things based on your searches and what you've made/queued. These popped up on mine:

Copyright belongs to Knitted Toy Box

Copyright belongs to Knitted Toy Box

How cute are these?? The pattern for Elsa is here and Anna is here. I was sucked into the Frozen world, Let It Go wanders through my head along with the ice harvesters chanting from the beginning. But I was so very impressed with these patterns. Not only are they offered for free, but they are well written. I am knit fangirling here, and I have no shame. These are sorely tempting me away from my work and if I had all the yarn? There would be no stopping me from casting on for them RIGHT MEOW! Ahem. So. In conclusion, I want all the yarn for these adorable dolls and I need them now. kthnxbye ;) (that would only work if Hubs read the blog).

In other news, I'm also torturing myself over socks. I have yet to complete a pair of socks, but I want some nonetheless. I get distracted by the time I finish one sock, so I end up with a loner just languishing. I should make a Dobby clothesline and just pin them all up. That would give me an excuse to keep making just one, right? Right? From the looks of my floor, though, I'm not lucky enough to have a house elf anyways.

I'm also working on a shawl, the Vortex Shawl, which is going slow. Steady, but slow, mostly because my yarn choice is meh. Was that on my list? Of course not. Several hats got bumped for that. Which is why I REALLY need to finish, to prove I had a good reason for reshuffling. After all, who doesn't bargain with themselves?