Thursday, March 17, 2011

Different Set Of Rules

Ever notice that two girls can kiss, hug, grope, and say 'i love you' to each other without many people raising an eyebrow? Well, aside from horn dogs who are hoping for some 'girl on girl' action. But two men can't without someone getting creeped out? Either one of the men involved or a bystander? With guys if someone shakes a hand a little too long, a gruff hug is more than a hand shake with an arm slap, or even shoulders brushing each other more than once its officially 'weird'. Why? Did we raise such homophobic boys? Why is it socially acceptable for women to be more touchy feely than men? I confess, I get more touchy when drinking. Hugs and whatnot. But I tend to be like that anyways. My daughter has apparently inherited that and can't sit on the couch next to someone without frequent hand reaching. Almost like she just wants to make sure your there and real. If I had had a son, would he hate my random hugs and nose kisses? Would he be ashamed to hold someone? We have all these different unspoken (and sometimes spoken) rules that makes it so confusing. I like to think we have moved beyond the little woman/strong man idea as a whole but honestly, have we come all that far? I'm not completely abandoning the idea, I myself stay at home while my husband works. But I don't vacuum in pearls, have a perpetual perky smile, and wait on him hand and foot. But to expect things to be so different for the two, it seems laughable. We are different, in some ways it doesnt mean a thing but in others it s profound. But does that mean we should be shoved into the same stereotypes that have always been? Some men are suited to be stay at home dads, some women can fix a car better (and faster) than most guys. Does that mean he should be ridiculed and she should be scorned? Just because that was the way things were? Its not just men, woman are just as guilty of harboring that need to keep things the same. Women say they want a sensative man, yet if they get one that is willing to cry they get disgusted. Now, don't get me wrong. If I was around some girl who bawled over everything Id get upset too. But for something other than a funeral crying. We cry over things because we are touched, are we to assume men aren't touched too? That they don't feel the same (or at least similar) things? How many times have you heard someone telling a little boy (or said so yourself) that big boys dont cry. Yet a little girl can sob because her doll got dropped in the dirt. So nobody thinks I'm bashing my own gender, I'll jump right in the public "adjusting". Men, your scratching yourself like you got bit by a bug the size of a soda can. It's not adjusting. I don't want to see you scraping your fingertips into the crotch of your pants in the store then go pick out some produce. I don't remove a wedgie then rub my hands all over your food do I? Go to the bathroom, go to a different room if your at home but please don't expect me to be sympathetic to your itchy testicles when I can't adjust a bra strap without getting funny looks. And am I the only one lost on the big truck=big junk ratio? If a guy buys a bigger than needed vehicle, we assume they are compensating. If I buy a 15 passenger van is one to assume I have a large vagina? (If I was filling that with 14 offspring, I can see that but with one kid?) I Like to think that if I ever have a son, I'll try and steer him clear of this mess but can I? With the rest of the world pressuring him into it? I hope my clingy little girl toughens up a bit, but am I too late for that?

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