Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Mini Purses

(not my hand, the giftee took this picture because I of course forgot to save any)

I made these for a secret santa gift and they were so popular while I was making them, I decided to post them. I'd seen some ideas similar to what I was making online but they were intended as keychains. These could be, with a sturdier handle, but they we're originally intended for ornaments. My daughter recently requested two for her new Monster High dolls so they'd work perfectly for that as well. This uses scraps of worsted (I knit loose) but gage really isn't important so a dk or aran could be substituted with minimal fuss.

I used
  • size 4 dpn (set of 4)
  • assorted novelty yarn
  • buttons
  • thread to match your yarn colour
  • darning needle for kitchener stitch
now don't panic over the kitchener, its a minimal amount of it and its optional. You could also do 3 needle bind off or regular bind off and stitch it shut after. Kitchener just leaves no outside seam. Two different types of yarn were used, Caron Simply Soft and Red Heart Supersaver. Because they have two different gages, they require 2 different cast on amounts to get the same appoximate size of the purse. Do you have to strictly follow that? No, of couse not. Thats the beauty of it! But for those who like myself who knit loose, I co 24 sts in Caron and 21 in Red Heart. Divide to work in the round, join, and knit for about 1" or however large you want your purse to be. Split them on 2 needles for your kitchener stitch (or bind off if thats your preference), the Red Heart will throw you off with that extra stitch, I just drew the yarn through it and tied it off anyways. Tada you have a thing! Now here is where you can get creative: handles For one, I chose the main yarn and two strands of novelty and braided them. Knotted through the sides of the purse, I added a few stitches with the needle to secure them. Another, I knotted them like one of those spiral friendship bracelets we made back in the day (I still make them). Added beads while I was knotting for a decorative effect. For the other, I braided that as well but with 2 main and one novelty. The colours of mine were based off the tastes of the recepient, but they can be customized for anyone. The button was sewn on the front of the purse, with a loop threaded around from the back and knotted inside (next time I make some, I'll photograph what I mean. Stuff your ends in the purse and thats it! (yes, no weaving in ends, yay!!) Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Keep It Simple

I was in the grocery store, telling my husband I wanted a fall coat (something between hoodie and parka). But I didn't buy one at the thrift store because they were 5$. He looked at me, completely astounded, and said "you cheap bitch" and laughed like hell. I meant it, spending that much on a used coat is something I dreaded. Still dread because I have yet to buy that coat. It sounds silly I know, but I'd rather put that money towards something we really need. Sneakers for the two funny footed family members, laundry soap (almost cheaper buying new clothes), good toilet paper that doesn't moonlight as sand paper. Is that a bad thing? I certainly didn't think so. I can spend 10$ and come out of there with 4 big bags of goodies. I take it to mean that I'd rather spend a little and enjoy the things I have. Because I'm wired wrong, I spend the walk to get Bug thinking up a list of simple and cheap things I enjoy. And because I'm REALLY weird, I'm posting it publicly.
  1. Twizzlers (I ate some on the way there)
  2. Laundry dried on the clothesline
  3. Clean sheets after a shower
  4. Warm toes
  5. Hearing that little sigh when you know a kid is deeply asleep
  6. Seeing that someone made your project on Ravelry
  7. Watching Scrubbing Bubble commercials
  8. Rereading a book you've read a dozen times before and enjoying it more
  9. New fuzzy hoodies
  10. Plushy blankets
  11. Mozzarella sticks at a bargain that taste good
  12. Pulling on your best fitting pair of pants to find they are too loose for you to comfortably wear
Not much of a list but to be fair I was watching traffic, eating Twizzlers, and it was only a 15 min walk :)

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Dishsoap Apron

For the sheer fun of it, I made a dishsoap apron. No, theres no pattern because I can't write a crochet pattern to save my life. But I wanted to post it for fun :)

back view

Friday, October 28, 2011

Bah Humbug Halloween

For whatever reason, this year I have not been feeling the Halloween vibe. Last year it was a kinda, but the last minute I got into the swing of things. This year, nothing. Last minute finishing costume touches for the kid. Knitted a tail last night for the parade today. I want to make some hand mitts for her with pads for fun too. I've seen adult ones but not in kid sizes. Rest assured, once I get things settled I'll be posting patterns for you. I'd like to make some dress up tails, horses, unicorns, dogs, cats etc. I just feel so very blah and unmotivated. I think because this has been such a busy month, it's killed a lot of the excitement. We didn't even get a pumpkin. I'm ready to toss the decorations back into the closet till next year already. My knitting is hitting road block after road block. I try something, it doesnt turn out and it gets frogged. I try something else and it goes to hell again. I have this itch to create but it's all going to hell. Luckily some things are still going ok, small things, but it's enough to keep me knitting. Oh and you now can find some of my handmade goodies along with an awesome chickie's unique postings on facebook and Etsy! Please become a fan of Chivalry Isn't Dead at the following links:

Chivalry Isn't Dead Etsy Shoppe

Chivalry Isn't Dead on facebook

It would mean so much if you would browse, share with your friends and family and purchase from an independent, small town crafter for the holidays. That will support the economy far more than mass purchases done in a large store. We care about each of  our customers. The joy that my friend had when she made her first sale was wonderful to see. Share that joy with the other great crafters on :)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Illness can suck my big toe

Yep, I'm sick. I've been fooling myself into thinking I've had allergy problems for the last *ahem* week. Guess what, not working. Today it hit me like a ton of bricks, apparently it's been kept at bay since then.  What does this mean for you? Diddly, seeing as I can't share this lovely germ collection I've been given. So you get to read my deathbed adventures. Nuked the hellspawn chicken nuggets. Seeing as I used up all my culinary expertise doing that, I get to eat yesterdays Micky Dee's leftovers and cold bacon from breakfast. My knitting is sitting there due to the loss of my other size 13 needle. Of all the things, thats whats stopping me. It's been sitting there for MONTH and now I need it when I can't find it. Blah, very disappointed with myself. Been wanting to make some cables, made a simple hat but it's not cutting it. Started cable feeties (which is huge, I've made exactly 1 sock lol), they havent gotten very far (4 rows). Eyeing some fingerless mitt patterns. But that all takes more effort than I can currently summon. This is the crap. Seriously.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Uttie the stuffed Uterus!

Only picture I have, I'll remake one and post the step by steps to help you along (tech hates me)

Yes, a stuffed uterus. Why? For humor. Remember those squishy stress balls every pharmacy has? This one is just for the ladies. You can throw this one, run it over, yell, scream, and cry over it and not have to worry about hurting anyone (or breaking lamps). The pattern was written while I was making it so it is a bit rough, I'll try and clean it up for you as I go. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to comment here or on Ravelry. Oh and in some of the construction pictures the eyes are cute button eyes, but the finished project has sewn on eyes. The reason being is that after it was stuffed the eyes refused to stay in place. I had to replace them when i was making the tubes.

  • Red Heart Acrylic in Antique Rose and small amounts of light pink (odd ball, don't remember what it was) You wont be using much, so this is really and odds and ends project.
  • Small amounts of black yarn or embroidery floss. Button eyes are optional
  • Size 5 dpn (set of 4) or you can use a circular needle for magic loop, whatever your comfortable with
  • Darning needle
  • small crochet hook for picking up stitches
  • Small amount of stuffing
Gage is not crutial at all, I have no idea what mine was or how big it turned out because as soon as it was sewn, it went into a gift bag and left.

Cast on 12 sts, distribute on 3 needles (4 on each, yes easy math but sometimes you just want to go instead of do math). Work in 2x2 rib for 3 rounds.
Now comes the fun part. You'll be working in the round on 2 needles. Ive used this technique once before with the Little Hearts pattern by Stitching 'n' Knitting's Teresa Fox. I made a load of them for a class and as she puts it the "figure 8 method" makes a flat increase thats perfect for stuffing. I used that to make the increases so if your not sure, check out the pattern. She included pictures as well (I don't want to get into copyright trouble for copying her directions).

Distribute the stitches from one needle onto the other two, making sure your starting point is at the end of one needle. Once they are all lined up, begin increase rnds:
Rnd 1: kfb knit to the last stitch on the needle, kfb. repeat on the other needle -4 increases total on that round
Rnd 2: Knit even
Continue in this manner for 5 rows total. Work in st st (even knit in the rnd) for 6 more rows.
Dec rnds: Skp, knit to last 2, k2tog. Repeat for other side of uterus.
Repeat this row 3 times total - 20 sts remain
Using your darning needle, use kitchener stitch to sew the top shut.

Using a crochet hook, pu 4 stitches along the decreases with the right side facing you. Make the i-cord approx 1", cut uterus yarn. Using lighter pink, work one row.
kfb every stitch - 8 sts
knit across
k2tog across row - 4 sts
Cut yarn and draw through sts, fasten off

Repeat on other side.

Make a face (if desired), stuff lightly. Sew at the top of the ribbing (the cervix) to prevent stuffing from falling out. Weave in ends and there you go! Again, sorry the pattern is rough, this is actually better than my quick jotted notes :)

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Great Purge

Fed up with how things are running in this house, I decided to clean/winter shift everything today. Bug's table had to be moved away from the heater (along with too many toys that need to be sorted again). Dust needed to be swept, couch needed to be fixed, rug needs vacuuming, windows need different curtains, etc etc, Doing fairly well, still have one window and the rug to attend to, when i notice Bugs heater isnt working. Now I know for a fact the others are working. Her's is usually the only one on upstairs because of how well it works. So looks like tomorrow I get to put in a work order for them to bleed the sucker. Which also means, you guessed it, more cleaning. I have (to put it nicely) a lived in house. Theres dirty laundry in the basket by the washer, dishes in the sink (sometimes counter and stove as well depending on the week we've had), blankets tossed instead of folded, and knitting EVERYWHERE. People know what to expect when they come over (and if they don't like it, theres the door), But these guys are here to fix stuff and I don't like the idea of near strangers having gossip fodder. I know them by first name, but other than that? Nothing else. So instead of relaxing on the couch recovering from an allergy riddled weekend (yesterday was bad, I couldnt even make dinner I was sneezing so badly), I'm scrubbing out corners. (Yes, Dear Reader, I know I'm blogging instead of cleaning. Shouldnt you be doing some chores instead of reading? Hmm?) Before I discovered the heating fluke, I decided to put away those patterns I've pulled out and never did anything more with them. You've done it, I'm sure. Intend to make something only to realize a) you didnt want to make it b) you dont have the right yarn/ingredients or c) last time you tried it, it turned out like crud. I've been pretty good at keeping my downloaded patterns limited (ok not that limited, I'm no minimalist), but the hard copies hadn't had a good culling in ages. So you guessed it, out came all the binders. Even the cross stitch wasnt spared. I had a whole pile of patterns that weren't of any further use to me. Now, what to do with them all? I could have pulled ever (stupid) staple out of them and recycled them. I've done that before with patterns that just werent working out right. But this was a sizeable stack. Including those "Take me I'm free!" things you see in the yarn aisles. Whats a tree hugger to do? Donate. Yep, they will be heading to one of my local thrift shops in hope that someone else can make them part of their pattern stash. I even thinned out a bit of yarn. So proud of myself, and yes this was after i brought home that last bag so its as bad as it was before. I'm proud of myself for letting things go, even though I loved them for a while. I'm trying to avoid being on one of those Hoarder shows honestly, bit scary thinking the same thing they were saying as to why they had so much stuff. In other news, back to the gym tomorrow! I've been pretty set on going three days a week, even though weve only been averaging 2. Off all summer and those aches really set in. I do have to say, I love dropping Bug off at school in yoga pants like some of the other moms but unlike them I have a reason to wear them that morning. And I show up in jeans that afternoon, not in the same pants (now food sprinkled), I'm not hating on people who have a reason (like any kid under a certain age at home) but if I can haul myself up and get dressed, you can too. Also, working on my Christmas knitting, way behind (especially when I need to make a granny square blanket) but seeing as our gift giving list is minimal, I think I can do it.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Penny Pinching

I'm a garage sale queen, thrift store haunter, bargain bin rummager at heart. I hate paying for things, not because I'm cheap, but because I hate the idea of spending so much for things. I was volunteering at a thrift store today (mostly because I was dumb and didn't pay attention to the date, I need to go monthly woops), and I pitched in with the weekly pulling. Stayed an extra few just to help out and cover my mistake. It just so happened that I scored big time. Baby clothes for my brother-in-law's future baby (gender unknown, she's only a few weeks along), a friends baby (just had a girl at the crack of dawn this morning, squee!!), and odds and ends for myself. I also picked up a bag of yarn that had been stuffed into a bag. I glanced at it, noticing a few labels and was pleased to see Lion Brand on there. 5$ and it was mine, 10$ total for all my goodies. At home, unloaded, I got to delve into my purchases. Here's a shot of what I got:

Excuse my washer (and the cardboard box) but I had to make sure everything was in view. Yes, that is 2 balls of Noro Kureyon in the front. Full balls, same dye lot. I also have 4 balls of Red Heart Soft Yarn, 3 balls of Lion Brand Mystery, 3 Wool-Ease, 2 Lion Cotton, 1 Cotton Ease, 1 Baby Wool, 1 Microspun, and one ball of Moda Dia novelty yarn. And what I suspect is Red Heart Baby acrylic. I was stunned and amazed, I want to write the the biggest thank you in the world to whomever donated this. The Noro alone is $8.95 at Jimmy Beans Wool. Today, was a very good day.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Natural Suburbia: 700th Natural Suburbia Post Giveaway!

Look whos doing a giveaway! Get in on the goodies she's offering by following this link:

Natural Suburbia: 700th Natural Suburbia Post Giveaway!: This week I have posted my 700th blog post! I thought I would celebrate with a giveaway:) Thank you so much to everyone who visits this spac...

While your there, check out her wonderful patterns she has to offer (both for free and sale)

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Summer passing by

So depressing, it's september already and it's been such a busy summer that it hasn't even been enjoyable. Instead I get to start "relaxing" when I send Bug off the second grade. Not fair, she shouldnt be allowed to grow anymore. At least she didn't have a ridiculous school supply list. I was talking with some other moms (different states) and one woman needed graph paper. In kindergarten. In the meantime I'm starting some new knitting projects, some as requests some for fun. A friend of mine is expcting in october so I'm trying to make some baby things for her but they arent working all too quickly. Another friend has a friend whos expecting and requested some owl rattles. The pattern works out fairly well, but it requires a dowl and gives no size for it. Very frustrating. My sister requested secret santa gifts so I'm working on slipper patterns (without too much success either). While wandering around our farmers market my daughter noticed some crocheted spider wristers and requested them, so theres something else on the to do list! On the plus side, once I figure those out I'll post a pattern for them. I want to make them in child to adult sizes. Another (hopefull) pattern will be a collar for Halloween. Bug wants to be a black cat and needs accessories like any spoiled feline. You've all been so patient for new patterns havent you? :) I'm hoping to branch out into cross stitch patterns as well of some *ahem* adult slogans. Some are family friendly, but others are more for childless friends. So many plans! Maybe I should get moving, huh? I'll post a picture of the cross stitch I made for my anniversary. Hubs is a HUGE star wars fanboy, and an idea for this has been kicking around my head for a month or so prior to the date. I managed to get this done in 2 days (one late night). I cut a piece much larger than I needed, simply because I wasn't sure of a frame size (I had to buy one that day). Soon, hopefully, I can get a clear chart put up on here for you, seeing as my pencil and paper one leaves much to be desired.

Friday, August 5, 2011

So many projects, so little time

Unthinkable that chatterbox me hasn't updated in so long. But it's been a very busy summer, haven't even managed to make any playdates for Bug. What I have been doing is planning baby knitting among other things. So much I'd love to make, but with the heat and humidity you don't want anything large and wooly on your lap. Hunting around on ravelry, I found a site with some adorable (and easy) knits. A pear, a pumpkin, owl, even a fluffy dandelion. is where all those cute items are located. The patterns feature some great homespun yarn too, so I'll have to make some substitutes but I'm hoping they still look as cute.

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Finally, pic of new car! This is Lilu:

It's a '99 VW Passat, got it from a gi wife who luckily got us to buy it. Woman was far too trusting, so I'm glad she wasn't ripped off. She and her husband know nada about cars except how to drive them and to fill up the tank. When we handed her the money she never even counted it, no joke. It's a huge step up from our old car. That poor thing really needed it's rest, we kept it going as long as we really could. But meet Lilu (yes like from 5th element, the key is the multipass!)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Pitties For Pres

I'm going to hop right on a very controversial subject: pit bulls. Now I love dogs, and with all the news these poor doggies have been getting I figure I can get my 2 cents in on it. I don't have a personal problem with them. I know people are afraid because they can be aggressive. So can lots of breeds. My mothers blue heiler was supposively a not-for-kids dog, You know how much sand he had dumped on his head by small children in a lifetime? How many times he was sat on, stepped on, tripped over and pulled? So I'm not being dismissive of breed, its how they are raised. Pitties need a firm hand, so do lots of other breeds. But they've been getting the press so they are who I'm choosing. I said I have no problem with the breed, what I have a problem with are the individuals and the individuals raising them. Around here, it's the ghetto. I admit it. But do we really need these jerks who crave to belong to a thug gang hanging around? Losers with no job, multiple kids by multiple women (no joke one guy has 14 at last count), and no fashion sense. Pants sagging around your knees do not make me think your sexy, they make me think you can't read the # on the pant sizing chart. These jackasses have pit bulls and raise them to be aggressive. They WANT to strut around this neighborhood with every little kid wanting to pet every dog in sight when they have one they need to strain to hold onto. Do I blame the dogs? No, it's not their fault they have an idiot for an owner. I blame the stereotypical fucksticks who think they need that dog to protect their dope from some other loser that they ripped off who stole the drug money from a baby momma. And before anyone says I'm being racist (I haven't once mentioned race, losers come in all shapes forms and colours here), or a bigot, or a downright jerk, hear this: you don't live here. You arent trying to raise children here. You aren't here day in, day out listening to what is said and having to worry if your flower pots will disappear in the night. Why am I here? Because I have no other option right now. I'm not asking for a pity me, I'm asking you to accept that I am not being a holier-than-thou person. I'm being me, and I'm being honest. These are the people with pit bulls that I dislike. I hate the attitudes they force into these poor animals from such a young age. One was racing and tearing around the yard with 3 little boys today. Beautiful pure white female. I sat there watching them all be kids together, and hating the fact that she might grow up to bite kids who try to have fun like that with her. Simply because someone thought thats how she should act because its a symbol. It might not happen that way, for her sake I can only hope. Flopped out on the grass, rolled over for her tummy rubbing because she was tuckered out. That sacraficed for an image? No animal should be subjected to that. Don't presume I'm a PETA fan, never wear fur eat meat etc. I wear fur, I eat meat and I sleep at night. Fur is because when it's below freezing (hell below zero) and you're outside for another half an hour at the least waiting for a dog team to come in, you dress for warmth. Fur is warm and the hide is durable. Meat? Not always a fan but right now I'll chow into a bowl of stew with the best of them. Venison jerky is great (if mom makes it). But I don't own (nor do I want) a full fur coat. I don't want half a cow in my freezer (and the other half already digested). I'm a redneck, cow shit doesnt bother me, shooting at squirrels/deer/rabbits/coyotes/woodchucks/etc doesn't make me gasp in horror, and I will walk barefoot willingly. And because it was hilarious, Pitties for Titties was a breast cancer support team from Bruised not Broken  which is something I'm a fb fan of. Cracked me up so I'm sharing it with you all. All 7 followers (which may change, but I'm thrilled to have any followers so thank you all!)

Want some snark in your soup?

This blog isn't for everyone. If you're a pearl clutcher, easily offended, or report people obsessively then please leave it be. I love this bitch, I would hug her to squeezy pieces if I ever met her.

Seriously, I giggle, snort, laugh and roar laughter over her posts. Why? Because she is just like me. She says the things all of us really want to say but are afraid to. You know, the things you want to give voice to but don't want to air for fear of the book clubs look of disgust. She says that and more. She is also on facebook and twitter. Without her, I wouldn't have been able to follow so many more awesome people on blogger. Her post to comment your blog and a description?  Follow, follow, follow..sweet.. Thank you for all the awesomeness that is you. And for choosing a great way to deal with the non routine routine of kids.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Swimming on Tides of Shame

It's swim suit season! Now normally like 75% of women and 95% of moms those words make me cringe and reach for the muumuu. Not this year. I found not only one, but two suits that fit (not in a size that I like to advertise, but they run small). Granted they are in awful floral prints. Why anyone over a size 6 should be seen in flowers the size of a grapefruit is beyond me. But anyways they fit and because I got them at one of the local thrift stores (with tags and sanitary sticker still on),  they were a steal. Like $50 worth of suits for under $5. That alone is enough to get me to wear it, but it gets better. I got a coverup with giant pockets for a quarter. That is actually long enough. Thrilled beyond what I should be considering what I actually look like but you know what, who cares. I'm getting in to help my Bug swim. Ohhh on other awesome news we got a new car! Ok, not new new but new to us. I wanna drive it!! :D I'll post pics of our new Lilu car

Tis the season

It's prom time for so many highschoolers. Some in my family, and I'm sure some in your circles. I've been browsing pictures of a friends daughter and I remember all the fun there was. Picking the dress, spending hours on the hair, finding just the right shoes and purse. Sometimes I miss highschool. Seeing all those people day after day, you think they'd be around forever. Honestly, if it wasnt for facebook, I wouldn't know where to find most of them. There were a lot of bad times, some of mine worse than usual because of my religious views. Prom was one of those times it really didn't matter. Our school you didn't need to have a date and two girls could buy a couples ticket without raising eyebrows (cheaper). The decorations were always torn down by the end of the night and sometimes it was hard to find your shoes at the end of the night. But for those first few hours every girl looked like princesses and all the boys cleaned up nice (lets not give them swelled egos). It was just one of those memories that everyone should have. There really isn't all that much of a point to this blog, just a short side path on memory lane.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Cruising Ravelry

For whatever reason, the queue on my Ravelry is a black hole for projects. I put something I really want to make there and it falls through. Even if it's something easy peasy to make, nope. Zip. It makes me depressed to look in there, and it make me wonder about patterns of mine that have wound up in queue. Are they dead in the water as well? Lately I've been keeping patterns on a project start basis, and so far pretty good. The odd few that had to be frogged (and haven't been restarted). Another is the favourite patterns. I get a little thrill everytime something I made was given another heart. I only just figured out how to view them (not that I'm nosey, which I am but that wasn't why I was curious) and couldnt be more pleased that I wound up with 2 full pages. Some, I'm sure have 30+ but you know what? I'm easy to please. The only other thing I'm curious about is the friending. Is it strange to friend someone you don't know, like an author or someone who's patterns you absolutely adore? And why don't more people rate the patterns and yarn choices? It makes for a better review in my opinion, I try to do it for every one I finish. My notes tend to be a tad too descriptive too..but then again, that is the point, yes?

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Buttoned Baby Hat

Buttoned Baby Hat
Size 7 (4.5mm) circular and dpn
Lion Brand Wool-Ease (used Rose Heather, Woods Print, and other (now discontinued) colours with great success), Red Heart Soft was used for one as well. One ball should make 2 hats
5-7 small decorative buttons (optional)
Stitch marker
Darning needle or crochet hook for fastening off ends
Sewing needle
Thread to match hat and buttons
14 1/4" unstretched
Fits up to approx  17"
Unsure of just what age of a baby this would fit, seeing as I haven't had a baby to test it out on. If you have the chance, please let me know of what ages this fit. My daughter had a rather large head so she wasn't the best example. I used circular needles for this, although it does mean a bit of a stretch. You may wish to work entirely on dpn. My size 7's were too short and dropped stitches so I opted for the circ's.
Gage: 16sts = 4" on size 7's
If your looking to sub yarn, the ball band gage is 18sts/24 rows

Please excuse my "work table"

CO 60 sts. Pm, and knit 6 rnds
Button band:
Next rnd: P
Next 2 rnds: K
Next rnd: P
Continue knitting until hat measures 3" from beginning with edge unrolled
Dec (changing to dpn when needed if started on circular)
Rnd 1: K 8, k2tog; repeat to end of row -54 sts
Rnds 2 & 3: K
Rnd 4: K 7, k2tog; repeat to end of row -48 sts
Rnds 5 & 6: K
Rnd 7: K 6, k2tog; repeat to end of row -42 sts
Rnds 8 & 9: K
Rnd 10: K 5, k2tog; repeat to end of row -36 sts
Rnds 11, 13, 15, 17: K
Rnd 12: K 4, k2tog; repeat to end of row -30 sts
Rnd 14: K 3, k2tog; repeat to end of row - 24 sts
Rnd 16: K 2, k2tog; repeat to end of row - 18 sts
Rnd 18: K 1, k2tog; repeat to end of row -12 sts
Rnd 19: K2tog; repeat to end of row -6 sts

Red Heart Soft

Cut yarn, draw through remaining stitches and fasten off. Weave in ends. Sew buttons in between the purl ridges using coordinating thread.
If you aren't comfortable in sewing on buttons for such a small person, you can use a varigated yarn (which looks great on its own), or use a novelty yarn in place of the 2 purl rows.
Varigated yarn with no buttons

Monday, April 4, 2011

Beware The Children

Where I live, there are a lot of children. I mean loads, its a requirement to live here. Or you had kids and they grew up and moved out but your still here. Either way, oodles of underage children. Let's be honest with each other here, not all of them are little angels. Some are downright little punks and you want to boot them and the parent who raised them. We have a rather high percentage of those. They recently installed a large covered porch that will be included in a ramp. This is a kid magnet, and I don't want all these unknown children by my door. Before you think that I'm the crabbiest lady that you told your kids it was ok to egg my house come halloween (and even tossed a few yourself) consider this. Would you want them up on your porch when you didnt know who they were, where they lived, and breaking your outdoor decorations. Not to mention these children are rude, they curse, spit, and destroy anything possible. Swearing goes way beyond the occational "hell" and "damn". Racial slurs are common too. What really bothers me is the older kids. It makes me nervous to tell them to go away. The latest group of thugs in the making that was making its rounds, all it took was me looking out the window at them. I hate that it nerves me to do this but lets face it. They are at least as tall (and in a lot of cases taller than) as me. And I don't know whats going on in their heads. These children tend to be lumped together as the "bad kids" and while I know its an unfair stereotype, it's apt. These are the ones that are up till past midnight even during the school year, they smoke, they curse even worse than their parents, and they make you want to hold your purse a little tighter when you walk by. For all I know, they're honor roll. But that isn't what I'm seeing. What really irritates me is the parents of these kids. Someone came up with a "clever" saying: there are no bad kids, just bad parents. From what I've seen, it tends to be both. The parents don't deal with the attitudes early on and they walk all over them once they realize just how out of control their offspring really is. They can't really do anything with them so they ship them outside, just grateful for the slight peace in their own home. And I'm not making this up, this actually is the problem with one apt. Sometimes its just bad luck on both the parent(s) and the child(rens) part(s). Other times, it's sheer negligence. I worry about my daughter, growing up like that. Will she be one of those running rampant? I'd love to say absolutely not but I don't know for sure. All I can do is hope for the best, show her right and wrong, and love her.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Lacking In Knitting

I am quite ashamed to say I have let my knitting languish. It's not that I don't have anything that needs doing (which I do), it's just that I've been out and about instead. Spring has been hitting us here (granted on an occational day basis) so I have been outside enjoying the air (and lack of snowbanks). Went for a walk today (4 miles and I am not feeling any pain, go me!), and a decent picture was actually taken of me. Along with some pics of huge kitty feet prints and geese. Granted my housework suffered, dishes undone, laundry unwashed, rug not vacuumed, library book overdue. But you know what, it worked out wonderfully anyways. It's a place where I could sit and knit, but then again it was best for some earthy hand spun which I am sadly lacking. I have been making some requested projects, like toy kitty mice and some cowls to use some stash yarn. But otherwise, nothing major. I did however make a leprechaun 'trap'. Crochet/knitted bed, crochet pot of gold and all. I went all out, glitter glued to the point my wrist hurt. Hopefully I find some time to knit, at least something I need to make. Ever notice when it becomes a project, it becomes more a chore than fun? Oh well, next post will be about said project: Dave the Travelling Minion!

Different Set Of Rules

Ever notice that two girls can kiss, hug, grope, and say 'i love you' to each other without many people raising an eyebrow? Well, aside from horn dogs who are hoping for some 'girl on girl' action. But two men can't without someone getting creeped out? Either one of the men involved or a bystander? With guys if someone shakes a hand a little too long, a gruff hug is more than a hand shake with an arm slap, or even shoulders brushing each other more than once its officially 'weird'. Why? Did we raise such homophobic boys? Why is it socially acceptable for women to be more touchy feely than men? I confess, I get more touchy when drinking. Hugs and whatnot. But I tend to be like that anyways. My daughter has apparently inherited that and can't sit on the couch next to someone without frequent hand reaching. Almost like she just wants to make sure your there and real. If I had had a son, would he hate my random hugs and nose kisses? Would he be ashamed to hold someone? We have all these different unspoken (and sometimes spoken) rules that makes it so confusing. I like to think we have moved beyond the little woman/strong man idea as a whole but honestly, have we come all that far? I'm not completely abandoning the idea, I myself stay at home while my husband works. But I don't vacuum in pearls, have a perpetual perky smile, and wait on him hand and foot. But to expect things to be so different for the two, it seems laughable. We are different, in some ways it doesnt mean a thing but in others it s profound. But does that mean we should be shoved into the same stereotypes that have always been? Some men are suited to be stay at home dads, some women can fix a car better (and faster) than most guys. Does that mean he should be ridiculed and she should be scorned? Just because that was the way things were? Its not just men, woman are just as guilty of harboring that need to keep things the same. Women say they want a sensative man, yet if they get one that is willing to cry they get disgusted. Now, don't get me wrong. If I was around some girl who bawled over everything Id get upset too. But for something other than a funeral crying. We cry over things because we are touched, are we to assume men aren't touched too? That they don't feel the same (or at least similar) things? How many times have you heard someone telling a little boy (or said so yourself) that big boys dont cry. Yet a little girl can sob because her doll got dropped in the dirt. So nobody thinks I'm bashing my own gender, I'll jump right in the public "adjusting". Men, your scratching yourself like you got bit by a bug the size of a soda can. It's not adjusting. I don't want to see you scraping your fingertips into the crotch of your pants in the store then go pick out some produce. I don't remove a wedgie then rub my hands all over your food do I? Go to the bathroom, go to a different room if your at home but please don't expect me to be sympathetic to your itchy testicles when I can't adjust a bra strap without getting funny looks. And am I the only one lost on the big truck=big junk ratio? If a guy buys a bigger than needed vehicle, we assume they are compensating. If I buy a 15 passenger van is one to assume I have a large vagina? (If I was filling that with 14 offspring, I can see that but with one kid?) I Like to think that if I ever have a son, I'll try and steer him clear of this mess but can I? With the rest of the world pressuring him into it? I hope my clingy little girl toughens up a bit, but am I too late for that?

Monday, February 21, 2011

Basic Dishrag

My mother and I have made so many of these, we don't even need a pattern anymore. A friend of my grandmothers used to make these and by studying her's we figured out how to make them. Her arthritis had gotten to the point where she couldnt make them anymore and had lost the pattern herself.

  • Size 8 straight needles (short lengths work fine, theres a bit of a squeeze at the middle but if you don't leave them hanging for long your fine)
  • G/7 Crochet hook (for crochet cast on)
  • Peaches and Cream 100% cotton yarn
  • Lily Sugar 'n Cream 100% cotton yarn
I use solid balls because the ombre's (while pretty) tend to only give me one and a half dishcloths, the solids I can get 2. The cones are a great way to go too.

Using your hook, crochet cast on 4 stitches.
Row 1: Knit 2, yo, knit to the end
Rep row one till you have 44 stitches on your needle. Start decreasing:
Dec row: Knit 1, k2tog, yo, k2tog, knit to end of row
Repeat this decrease row until you have 4 stitches left on your needle, bind off (I use the hook again, makes it nice and snug) weave in those pesky ends and tada! house warming gift for all, but be careful you who give this to. I made the mistake of handing these out with some towels one year for christmas and now I get pestered for these constantly! :)

By the way, you will find this pattern on Ravelry, but I'm not the one who posted it. I'm posting it here for anyone who doesn't have an account and simply because I can :) Please let me know if you have any problems!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Bulky Ribbed Scarf

This is almost insanely simple, but I've made lots of these and they've been very popular. Perfect for men and woman (all depends on the colour you choose), and if you add fringe, you can make a personalized creation.

You will need:

  • Size 11 needles (short lengths are perfect, considering the small number of stitches)
  • Red Heart Light and Lofty yarn (2 balls, although you might be fine with one, I've never sat down with a skein before. I used these bags of odd sized balls I nabbed from the thrift store)
  • Alternate yarn (yarn used in the pictures) Lion Brand Homespun or Holiday Homespun 2 balls (again, unsure but better safe than sorry, right?) I used "Holly"
Cast on 13 stitches.
Row 1: Knit 1, purl one, rep to end of row, ending with a k 1
Row 2: Purl 1, knit one, rep to end of row, ending with a p 1

Rep these two rows for about 82" or until they are long enough for you. Bind off in rib. Weave in ends and bundle up!

please ignore the scissors and laundry soap, my washer has the best light for photgraphs lol

As soon as I can dig up some pics, I'll show off the Phoenix Rising version I did of this, same scarf just added some fringe to make it like tail feathers. My sister snagged the one I had just finished so I barely had time for pictures. Again, insanely simple, but please don't sell :) Charity knitting is ALWAYS acceptable, please post where your work was donated so we might bask in the good deed!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Quick and Cozy Cowl

After walking home with the snow plastering my face, I decided I needed a cowl. My scarf wasn't cutting it and the wind made the ends whip around like mad. I've been eyeing the patterns out and I haven't found something quite right, many similar. But I decided to post my version on here for the fun of it.

not a very good picture but so you get the idea


  • 1 ball of Loops & Threads Charisma (#5 Bulky, 109 yds/3.5 oz) in whatever colour you like, mine is in Red (Colour 10), 100 % acrylic
  • 1 circular needle, size 15 (10mm), 16'' length, or size 15 straight needles if you don't mind a seam in the back.
  • Stitch marker
  • Crochet hook or darning needle (for the heavier yarn, I use a hook rather than stuff it through a needle eye) for weaving in ends (or sewing the seam, you might find it easier to use a worsted weight in a similar colour if you plan on doing it this way)
Gage: For the cowl 2sts = 1"
Listed on the ball band 11sts = 4" on size 13

Cast on 52 stitches, place marker and join in the round. Purl one row, then work in st st (knit) for 12" (measured from the beginning). Purl one row, bind off. Weave in ends and don to collect your offspring.

Straight Needle Instructions:
Cast on 54 sts. Purl one row, knit one row. Starting with a knit row, work in st st for 12", purl one row, knit one row, bind off. Using either yarn ends or worsted weight yarn, seam the cowl edges together, weave in ends. Flaunt your knitty work.

It curls on the one edge but it stops drafts quite well

Monday, February 7, 2011

New Setup

Finally got around to rearranging the blog to my liking, I had a post written up, tried posting a picture of my wip and it refused to load. Then it glitched and erased my blog-in-waiting. Grr.. Stupid thing. Anyways, still checking out gadgets, I like my fish (click and feed them!!) but I'm nosy and curious as to what else is offered. Linked my first pattern to Ravelry, really excited to see it favourited and queued! Need to work on getting a few more up there, my creativity is stirring. I have a baby hat, I just need to dig out the By Me notebook I wrote them all down in. PDF files are easier, I know, but I"m clueless as to working with them. I can open, close, save, delete and thats my limit. In the meantime while my laundry is NOT getting done, nor are my dishes, I'm looking for (whate else) more stuff on Ravelry to make. I'm trying to limit my queue to things I have the yarn for but some stuff I can't help but click. At least I don't have to watch hubby play Dragon Age (origins for all you curious readers that exist in my imagination). And besides, maybe I can cadge some more yarn funding out of him while he's distracted by the eternal debate: Gore Setting-On or Off?

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Basic Wine Bottle Cozy

This pattern is free, but please don't sell it. I did work semi hard on making this and I'd like to keep it as a freebie. If you do decide to make it, please send pics, I'd love to see variations! Also, this pattern is the same idea for any crocheters out there. My sister tried it and the chain length and decreases worked out the same for her. So if your a chicks with sticks or a happy hooker, enjoy the pattern!!

Fits a 9" diameter bottle, height depends on your wine of choice
You will need:
Worsted weight yarn (I used Red Heart Acrylic) unsure of exact amount but any yarn that gives you 4 stitches per inch works fine
Size 8 dpn (set of 4)
Wine bottle (empty is fine, but I don't recomment gifting the empty)
Crochet hook or darning needle for weaving in ends
Optional: novelty yarn for trim
CO 36sts and divide among needles (12 on each)
Starting with a PURL row, make 2 ridges in garter stitch
Switching to st st, work until piece measures 7.5 inches (or it reaches the bottle neck taper)
Dec Rnds:
Rnd 1: *K1, k2 tog; repeat to end
Rnd 2: Knit
Rnd 3: *K1, k2tog; rep to end.
Optional trim: Using novelty yarn and size appropriate crochet hook (size H/8 worked fine for me) sc around top and bottom edges. Fasten off and weave in ends.
Thats it! Tuck in the ends, and you have a cozy wine bottle! The fun part is that this is such a basic pattern that it can be dressed up into anything. Motifs can be added, different yarns can be used to make stripes, whatever you can dream up.

I made a Santa bottle (crochet belt and buckle, sewed the buckle on, sewed the belt together to the cozy itself). The belt was an afterthought, you could knit it right into the cozy itself. Support your local wineries and show off your knitting all at once!

Anti Kitty

I don't like cats. I don't mind cats, some people have had some very nice ones. Personally I don't want one. Or have any desire to have one. They are indifferent at best, nasty at worst, and poop in a box while expecting you to clean it up. You are your cats slave and they know it. I really don't like the cats around here. Why you ask (like anyone reads this but I'm humoring myself here)? Because the nasty rotten furballs STINK! They spray all over my rug, door, porch, rock salt, flower pots, shovel, rake, whatever happens to be out there. Again, why me? Because the neighbors had a cat (who knows what happened now) and instead of doing to proper thing of taking it to the spca when they didn't want it, they tossed it outside. Nature happened and she got pregnant. She hung around MY door yowling btw the entire time she was in heat. And while she was pregnant, 9 times out of 10 she was outside. Meowing at my door, laying in my windows (outside sill), and because she was a she, all the males in the neighbor hood took to staking out claims to her. She had a baby (there were complications and had to go to the vet, I suspect poor diet and probably being kicked caused it), they kept kicking her out and leaving the baby inside. Or the kids carried around the baby outside. Weeks old, btw. No clue what happened to that cat either. But mommy still lurks around my damn door. I tried shooing her towards their door, she got halfway and bolted back to my door and ran off the porch (again, I suspect kicking). Still stinks out there because they so kindly hosed down my bag of rocksalt, and the snow that gets the treatment gets tracked in on our boots. You guessed it, smell get onto the floors. Mop, mop, mop. One clever little snot managed to get his stench inside the outside door and onto the main door. I had to wash that off, plus the other door, plus the porch. In winter, I can only do the inside, I try scrubbing outside and its frozen. So I have a nice puddle of kitty poo (one cat was sick and had seepage, seen it around. Things feral too, won't let you near it) on my porch because the little fiend was laying on my rug. Can't wash it because otherwise I have an ice patch right where you step. So we step over it and try to pound snow onto it while counting down till spring. Why I'm a dog person.

Technology Hates Me

Go to boot up the desktop and the mouse decided it didnt want to all. So I get down, wiggle it thinking maybe it came loose. Nope, instead the computer restarts. I touched nothing else. Mind you this is after the floppy drive decides to cop out (Yes, still has a floppy drive. And yes I still have floppy disks. Shut up.), one of the cd drives has a motor die, and its fried a usb storage thingy. So while waiting for the silly thing to start up (again) I come back to the kitchen, where I'm working on a pair of mittens (Bella's Mittens by Mariellle Henault) on my worktable/photography setup/washing machine, and try looking at my phone where I'm browsing the news. It glitches and restarts because I missed a call. Seriously? The stove didn't like me yesterday and scorched lunch and the pan (I'm no great cook by any stretch of the imagination, but tuna helper?) so the house smelled like blackened fish all day. Small wonder the cats kept sniffing around the door. (save that one for another blog). And every time I go to type on this thing after pausing to do a few more stitches (or a round, whats a round or two between typing?) it wants to start typing halfway back through. Or it tries bringing up some file I don't want! Grr. This is why I don't play games, like WoW or any console games. I'd find some way to either fry the sucker or bring down a server somewhere. Before you scoff, I washed my last mp3 player in a load of jeans.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Plain vs Pretty

I've been browsing other peoples blogs through here and they all look so much prettier than mine. I know I just chose a stock background, I'm not too techno savy so I stuck with what they had. I'm more interested in putting things down than making them look interesting. Besides, I kind of liked the ducks. They looked better in the brown (so I think at this moment anyways). I honestly started this to post a pattern of mine, seeing as I haven't the first clue how to make a pdf file, let alone link it to anything. But since myspace has been sinking like the titanic, I've been wanting a ranting outlet. So the looks aren't really what I care about, its more whats being said. Some day I might pester hubby to give me a hand with making it "me" but for now, I'm content.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Why Children Are Our Future

Yes, cliche, but this actually made me tear up. After a long involved day, we went to get hubby's W2's from his old work (a bakery). We had just gotten Bug from school and she's been having a rough couple of days. Acting out, growing like a weed, having one of her little boyfriends move away (she has several and a few husbands as well), all the typical kid stuff. She always used to get a cookie when we went there (she was little and cute so they used to gift her one), so this time I bought her a muffin. A giant chocolate chip muffin. Got home, finally got dinner, and all that fun stuff that involves coming home. She got half her muffin. Hubby said he wanted a snack, something chocolate but we didn't have anything. Just speculating, one of us probably would have gotten shoes on and tromped down to the store. We thought she wasn't paying attention, engrossed in *shudder* Spongebob. She looks over at her father and offers the other half of her muffin. And meant it. She got up with me and took the plate back out to her father without a hint of regret over offering. Some days this kid does things that make me feel like we're doing something right. And funny enough, she hasn't ruined it yet.

Sunday, January 30, 2011


I usually type these up on my laptop (this one is no different) and post them so they will come in spurts. Most of it is random venting or babbling, depending on your point of view. I have a knitting to do list a mile long, a house that needs attention and laundry that is threatening to take over my kitchen. But here I sit instead, typing next to my hubby who is playing WoW before work (we all have our vices). Honestly I just need to de stress. I sit and look at all that needs doing and everything thats going on and I start to get overwhelmed. Lot going on so it happens fairly easy. I don't like to whine and moan in public, which is precisely what I'm doing, but some days you gotta dance. I'm mulling over my next knitting project as well, a friend requested fingerless mitts for work so that might be next on my agenda. I want to make shorter versions of ysolda's lace up opera gloves, but that involves picking apart the pattern to figure out necessary increases and whatnot. So I'll either make some on a whim pulling a pattern out of thin air, or play with  one thats currently out there. In the meantime, I need to get myself in gear picking up the little toys that my daughter so enjoys (and that make the biggest mess). And attack my table to find my grey yarn. If it turns out at all decently, I'll post results.

When World Collide

Out of all the species on the world, humans are the most violent. We attack unprovoked, kill without reason, and force other species to adapt to our whims. We are considered the intelligent species of the world. Yet we assume that ultra refined aliens, smarter than us by far, will be peaceful vegetarians. I think we have proven to each other that intelligence does not mean wise. Look at the scientists who dreamed up nuclear energy, advanced weaponry, and biological warfare. Some of the smartest people in the world don't have your best interests at heart, and they share the very same base dna as you. Why would someone from another galaxy care to take care of us when we have shown no inclination to take care of ourselves? Our appetites for meat have increased, how many billion pounds of pork, beef, chicken and other exotic flesh are eaten every year? Every day? Some lions don't eat as much. So these otherworldly creatures would share a dietary oddity? How many people thing, believe, even hope that someone will decend from the heavens and take away all our worries, cares, and make things wonderful for all? One mans heaven is anothers hell. Pet dander sufferers put along with cat fanciers? That makes about as much sense as putting a falcon club next to a toy poodle sanctuary. Humans don't want to take responsability for their own actions, for their own lives for that matter. Yet the expect someone else to do it for them. Why parents will always remain parents. Part of them wants them to grow, the rest wants them to keep coming back. Yet how much blame would cosmic parents get? We blame Obama for not moving fast enough to change things, yet nobody who is in a seat of power really wants change, and is doing everything they can to stop it. Yet he gets the blame in the media. If some alien being came down to repair all the stupidity we've amassed, wouldnt we grow to resent them? Doing something for "their own good" doesn't sit well with children and adults alike. Look how many lawbreaking people there are now, that resent laws and law enforcement with equal hatred. People blindly believe that someone so advanced would have found a way to erase such resentment, like in Star Trek. But wouldnt they be coming here with their own agenda? Why would it benefit us? It's a nice thought that there is someone preparing to take care of us, just packing their carpet bag and prepping an umbrella Mary Poppins style. But you'd have to be a smallminded fool not to take Star Wars advances in mind, not all of us are friendly, why should they be?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

First Blog!

Yay I've finally found a new blog site! I was using myspace but anyone who has been on there in the last few months knows why I've been avoiding it like the bubonic plague. My sister started a blog for herself and I figured I'd check out what she was using and started to have a go myself. I love ranting and raving, especially about yarn and life, and facebook really isn't the place to air them (too uptight). So here I am, and hopefully I will be updating with something slightly more interesting than random babble.